apps that don't set appropriate input defaults

if your app's input field is restricted—for instance—to numeric entry, and your app doesn't default the user to the numeric keyboard, i advise you to prepare for the most exquisite torments. when i am king, this is how it will be.

images in email signatures

will be verboten. on pain of pain, when i am king, that is how it will be.

toasted sandwiches

will only be served on wire racks or plates warmed to above the temperature of the sandwich, so that the soggy sandwich will be a thing of the past. when i am king, this is how it will be.

reams of paper

will be placed entire in the printer instead of opened and left on the table—short a few sheets—to warp subtly due to ambient humidity and later jam the printer in a particularly unfixable way at the worst possible time. on pain of pain, when i am king, etc.

webpage element sizes

should be declared instead of left implicit, so that user control elements such as buttons don't move about maddeningly as objects load gradually from a slow server, causing one to click where one does not mean, in fact, to click. on pain of pain, when i am king, this is how it shall be.

non-drip lips

will be a mandatory feature on pitchers, beakers, bottles, jars, and all such vessels. when i am king, this is how it shall be.